I don’t know about you guys but sometimes God answers some prayers instantaneously, others, not so much. For example, I was in a relationship that in hindsight, I should have known was not the will of God for me. Every time I heard sermons about relationships, marriage, singleness, how to be a Godly man or woman, the relationship fell short. And yes there is grace, but I’m not talking about God-is-still-working-us falling short. I mean, our purposes didn’t match, unequally yoked, extinguished-my-passion-for-my-calling kind of falling short. I was listening to a guest speaker who happened to be a marriage counselor. No, she wasn’t talking about marriage. And in all honesty I forgot what she was talking about cause the Holy Spirit grabbed a hold of my heart and I tuned out while He worked. After feeling convicted that I was settling in an area God didn’t want me to settle in, I prayed silently in my heart.
Lord, remove from my life whatever is not a part of your will for my life. If this isn’t your will, remove it.
And just like that. LITERALLY RIGHT AT THAT MINUTE.One glance over to Mr. Settle and I knew it was over. He broke up with me fifteen minutes later for reasons related to his effort to exert control over me (in hindsight it was a controlling, abusive relationship). He didn’t hear the message. He didn’t know what I had just prayed. God clearly was answering the prayer.

        Another time God answered prayer at the drop of a dime; I was on stage getting ready to begin worship. I remember hearing someone talking about all the blessings they were getting from God in the area of career and finances. I was met with disappointment and thought to myself, How can someone living a double life have all of their dreams come true? And there I was, 28, just loss my job and now finding myself in the middle of a quarter-life crisis like I was standing in the 5ft part of the pool. And I’m 5’3. Drowning in worry as bitterness and the little Pharisee in me crept up.

        Lord, I am struggling with your grace. I’ve been so faithful for so long and I can’t seem to understand why Stephen the success over here gets gold out of everything he touches. He’s lied, hurt people, and even hurt me. I mean look at Snapchat, he’s living a double life. He’s not even honoring you. How come he gets all this success so quickly and effortlessly? I’ve been waiting for so long, trusting you. When will it be my turn? Service began and I worshipped God for who He is and what He’s done and what He’ll do. I shifted my perspective because, afterall, He is eternally worthy of all praise. And I pushed my little moment in my feelings in the back of my mind. And my mentor steps on stage to begin preaching.

        Low and behold, Jeremiah 12. After reading verses 1-5 he looked up and said “those who believe in the new covenant should never pray this to God” I sunk in my chair because 2 minutes ago I was just praying that same thing. He continued paraphrasing Hebrews, “The blood of Christ calls out stronger than the blood of Abel. For Abel’s blood cried out for vengeance but Christ’s blood calls out for our redemption.”
God answered this one quick too. Instant answer to my prayer and instant conviction. I was giving no grace to this person on the basis of what I thought he deserved based on how he hurt me.

        God’s grace is scandalous and if I was honest with myself in that moment, my flesh had a problem with grace. I have a Pharisee in me that rises up on occasion, she puffs me up with pride to tell God when I feel others don’t deserve His grace. Yet, I am reminded and humbled when my little spirit man tells me I don’t deserve this grace. He rains on the just and the unjust and the truth is that none of us are deserving, no not one. I have been reminded that we were all once enemies of God, yet He still chose to love us and pour out His grace. He was about to confront me with His grace, little did I know.

Have you ever found yourself becoming a tiny Pharisee because you thought someone didn’t deserve grace? How did God remind you that none of us are deserving?

“1 Righteous are you, O LORD, when I complain to you; yet I would plead my case before you. Why does the way of the wicked prosper? Why do all who are treacherous thrive? 2 You plant them, and they take root; they grow and produce fruit; you are near in their mouth and far from their heart. 3 But you, O LORD, know me; you see me, and test my heart toward you. Pull them out like sheep for the slaughter, and set them apart for the day of slaughter. 4 How long will the land mourn and the grass of every field wither? For the evil of those who dwell in it the beasts and the birds are swept away, because they said, “He will not see our latter end.” [The Lord Answers Jeremiah] 5 “If you have raced with men on foot, and they have wearied you, how will you compete with horses? And if in a safe land you are so trusting, what will you do in the thicket of the Jordan?” – Jeremiah 12:1-5